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FFL Review Capsule - Dead Zombies
If this team were in the World Cup it would be ...... Deutschland uber alles. Has been a powerhouse over the years and a champion on many occasions, though its been a while since they last charged their tanks down FFL Drive in a victory lap. Just missed out again last time out but again feared/admired/ridiculed in equal measure by their competitors.
* RECORD - Topped the board going 10-4 to win the Regular season title. Just like the NHL though that isn't worth a fart in this game. Took down The Athletics in their Semi-Final but then lost the final to The Teds by some margin when the Lions offense went shit shaped and took down a third of the team with it.

* SEASON IN A NUTSHELL - Shot out to a 7-1 start like they was fired out of a fackin cannon. Coasted their way from there with an all-star cast and arguably the most powerful team to never ultimately win the title. Topped 100 seven times in the regular season alone, with two all star QBs in Luck and Stafford, some lively RBs and Mad Dezzie of Dallas anchoring a Receiving core that racked up an absurd 276 points. Rumour remains that certain players are being hunted down by Zombies "security staff" for pulling a World Cup Finals Wayne Rooney impression - how to disappear when needed the most.

* NOTABLE DRAFTEES - Some belters here and a real mixed bag. Sir Reginald of Bush (rnd 1) who now with his todger nowhere near a Kardashian has continued to pile up yards and fantasy points, unlike Mr Kenny Britt (rnd 2) - Simon isn't the first FFL Owner to have his fingers burned by this knucklehead though he's simply playing at it compared to the doozey that is Aaron Hernandez - selected in rnd 3, who spent the season awaiting trial for murder and "previous considerations" to quote a Zombies favourite phrase. I'm more likely to feature in the NFL before this twunt ever does again. Greg Jennings (rnd 4) had some moments though they were mainly at Wembley, whilst in Vernon Davis (rnd 5) proved somewhat of a steal being a regular scorer from the fantasy dogshit spot.

* 5 KEEPERS - Matt Stafford, Andrew Luck, Alfred Morris, Andre Ellington and Dez Bryant. Generally a strong bunch though major faith shown in Ellington here who looks a tad fragile behind that mashed potato O Line in the desert. Luck and Bryant are potential fantasy superstars.

* WHERE IT WENT RIGHT - The FFL's second highest scoring team who went over a ton every other week. Ran up big scores and swept all before it until the very last game. The WRs were a powerhouse all year.

* HOW IT WENT WRONG - Virtually the whole team pulled a Reggie Perrin in week 16 and the FFL Bowl, bar Dez Bryant and the Kicker. Inexplicable how so many crapped out at the same time. Little to complain about though could have scored more in Bonus Points (only 6th overall) given the roster strength, though again that's looking for the Serginho amongst the 82 Brazil team.
* DRAFT PICKS AND WHATS AHEAD - Holds 18 overall though none in rounds 2 and 3; providing he avoids another Hernandez or Britt up there, Simon can rebuild from here but the two selections in round 5 need to come up trumps.

* A Quote from the GM (under artistic license) - "Well fack me, all was going cushty when we ran aaat a bacon and eggs in the last fackin week. I cawnt be fackin appy with that. Stafford, Bush and Megatron - caaaants. Will fackin sort this arrrt over the sammer"
-- Lee (16th June 2014)
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