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MALICIOUS PENGUINS
If this team were in the World Cup it would be ...... The gloriously chaotic Netherlands. Talent everywhere and sometimes off the scale, but can be prone to periods of major upheaval and chaos that come out of nothing, as the slate is wiped clean and they start over again. Have come close in the past but not as yet won all the marbles but it's always a worthwhile watch.

* RECORD - The best team not in the play-offs, and the only one with a winning record not to make it finishing a creditable 8-6 for a 5th place final spot. Still the only team in FFL history to fire sale their season after 4 weeks, only to then reverse field and start bringing people in again! Gloriously madcap and we wouldn't have it any other way.

* SEASON IN A NUTSHELL - Started reasonably well enough being a worthwhile 4-2 after the first 6 weeks. Gradually dropped off the pace to go to .500 at 6-6 before clinching the last 2 games but losing on a tie-breaker to The Dodgy Athletics with whom they split during the season series. Nearly, almost but that doesn't even tell half the story of the revolving door at Penguins HQ.

* NOTABLE DRAFTEES - Some laughs here. Due to the odd previous trade, i.e. thousands of them, Richard didn't hold a pick until the 5th round - the latest anyone's joined the draft in FFL history, but that didn't bother him one bit. Round 5 and first selection brought Kevin Kolb, the then nominally Buffalo QB who takes a blow to the head about as well as Amir Khan does - the only NFL QB with a cauliflower arse who was soon, surprise surprise, out of favour and out of the league altogether. Round 6 brought the classic that is Danario Alexander, who'd fooled Richard with a prolific final quarter of the 2012 season, into wasting a pick on a guy who makes Darren Anderton look like an ever present. Danario promptly did what Danario does best and blew out his knee pre-season to disappear once and for all - if you're scoring at home that two up two down and a reason why the Penguins believe in trading away their picks! Round 7 gave us Kendall Hunter, a career back-up who at least ended up being packaged to The Clap in a trade later down the line; Round 8 gave us Michael Bush - a classic if you want a yard he'll get you 3, and if you want 5 yards he'll get you 3 kind of plodder; however the early laughs were brought to an end with a doozy and the steal of the entire draft in round 9 with Chicago WR Alshon Jeffery, who had an all star year with long bomb TDs aplenty and yardage off the scale - a top find and proof once again that even a blind squirrel finds the odd acorn.

* 5 KEEPERS - This may be what the Penguins do best. QB Nick Foles who may just be the long term answer in Philly; the best RB tandem in the FFL in Kansas all-star Jamaal Charles, and Eagles stud Lesean Mccoy; next comes Megatron - the best WR in the game and then there's a gap to second place, and finally the aforementioned Alshon Jeffery who could be a long term stayer at Penguins HQ.

* WHERE IT WENT RIGHT - Some decent trades in with Mccoy and Megatron, and held a winning record despite more comings and goings than the shithouse on a trawler boat. The RBs and Defense scored highly and the Penguins were never under at least .500 all year - some achievement at fantasy football, especially having traded away some big players. Their moxie was summed up in week 5 when facing The Clap without a starting QB - they started Browns back-up and scattershot Brandon Weeden. In week 5 the Browns starter (and coincidentally Clap QB) Brian Hoyer blew out his knee in the first quarter, and Weeden stepped in and threw a TD pass to get Richard some points from the back of the grid - love the absurdity of it.

* HOW IT WENT WRONG - Injuries were a pain, with Rob Gronkowski - who Richard had waited on nearly as long as he did finding a new job - coming back in and then promptly blowing out his knee again only 5 weeks into his return to render him the fantasy equivalent of a stale pavement turd. The other main thing that comes to mind is Jamaal Charles all world, 90 point fantasy day, in week 15 - sadly a week too late for his owner who'd been eliminated on tie-breakers. If the Penguins HAD made the play-offs, they'd have won their semi-final with a cigar on. The Penguins weren't the best or worst in any category, and the daftness of their season was summed up by their end stats - scoring and conceding the exact same number of points in 1157.

* DRAFT PICKS AND WHATS AHEAD - Bizarrely loads here, with 19 overall, including two in round 1 and a pick in every one of the first 11 rounds. Sounds good, though probably fills the GM with dread given his noted fear of actually holding picks. Best move is to perhaps trade some away for another teams keepers!

* A Quote from the GM (under artistic license) - "Cockfosters."
-- Lee (23rd June 2014)
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